Tuesday Sept. 8, 2014
As I mentioned in my last post, I was writing my talk that I was asked to give in stake conference on Sunday. I was glad to get it all written before we headed down to Riverton to attend my niece's viewing and then funeral on Saturday. The services were very spiritually uplifting, but I was also emotionally drained by the end of it, as it brought many memories back for me of my sweet Kera's funeral services.
My brother, my sister-in-law, my niece Grace, and my nephew Sam all spoke, along with their stake patriarch. I was amazed at their composure throughout their talks. Grace gave a great talk about music and her sister Cora, and talked about how the song "There is Sunshine in My Soul" reminds their family of Cora. This was also the opening song at the funeral. Well on Sunday at our stake conference after I spoke, our intermediate hymn was none other than "There is Sunshine in my Soul". I felt like that was Cora's way of saying she was there with me. I know my Kera was there helping me speak as well. I didn't want to break down in front of the whole congregation, and I think she helped me keep it together so I could share my message.
I wanted to include a copy of my talk here on the blog. Anyone who would like to can read it, but I really want to keep it to have and look back on later when I compile this blog into a book.
Stake Conference talk given on Sunday Sept. 6, 2014
I
am Staci Goar and our family moved here to West Point
two years ago. The topic I have been
given to speak about is "Called to Serve Him every day of your life"
I will be referencing two talks by
Elder Eyring, one is called "This Day", and another talk called
"Serve with the Spirit" that he gave at a priesthood meeting.
To
serve God, we must be doing the things
necessary for Him to speak to us and for him to reveal to us how he would like
us to serve. We cannot serve others when
we ourselves are not in tune to the spirit and worthy of his light and
revelation.
The
first thing we can do is have daily scripture study. I have found that taking some time each day
to ponder the scriptures, read through church manuals and Ensign articles,
reflect on how they relate to my life, and asking questions and then looking
for the answers in the scriptures, allows the Lord to speak to me and reveal
the things he has to tell me.
Quote by Elder Eyring: "We
read words and we may get ideas. We
study and we may discover patterns and connections in scripture. But when we ponder, we invite revelation by
the spirit. Pondering, to me, is the
thinking and the praying I do after reading and studying in the scriptures
carefully"
When
I read the scriptures hurriedly and close the book, I have not allowed time to
let the words sink in. There is no time
for revelation to come. Sometimes even
studying the same scripture for a week will allow you to really understand it
and do an in depth study with cross referencing and searching other topics
related to that scripture.
The
second thing we can do is pray to Him. We must pray daily, sometimes multiple
times throughout the day, for us to receive direction and to know how to
serve. Elder Eyring says "As the
humble servants of the Savior, we should pray for the manifestations of the
Holy Ghost to come to us in our service and to those we serve. Humble prayer to our Heavenly Father, in deep
faith in Jesus Christ, is essential to qualify us for the companionship of the
Holy Ghost."
*Prayer
is essential to get us through this earthly journey. I have relied heavily on prayer throughout my
trials this past year. *Tell about Kera's diagnosis. When Kera was diagnosed I would plead with my
father in heaven to help me Throughout
the process, from the very beginning until Kera passed away, and especially now
that she is apart from me, I kneel in prayer often, and try to listen to the
Lord and what his will is for me each day
Pres.
Eyring said "A morning prayer and an early search in the scriptures to
know what we should do for the Lord can set the course of a day. We can know which task, of all those we might
choose, matters most to God, and therefore to us. I have learned such a prayer is always
answered if we ask and ponder with childlike submission, ready to act without
delay to perform even the most humble service". That phrase "without delay" sticks
out to me. There are have been times when
I have been prompted to do a service for someone, or to call a friend, or to
act quickly to help someone, and sometimes I have hesitated. I know it's always best to act quickly
without delay. If we delay that service,
we may miss out on a great opportunity.
The Lord may be using us as an answer to someone else's prayer, or as a
ministering angel to someone else, and if we delay our action, not only to we
rob ourselves of the blessings, but we may miss a real need to change someone
else's life or circumstance.
Another
way we can serve the Lord daily is by magnifying the callings that we have been
given. I have served in many different
callings. Two years ago I was called to
serve as the first counselor in the Young Women's. I had spent several years serving in the
primary, and my children were all currently still in primary, so this call was
foreign to me at first. At first I
wondered why I was called to Young Women's.
I did not have a daughter in the program, I didn't know if the girls
related to me, and the girls had many other amazing leaders. What was I doing there? I got my answer after my daughter passed away
and I relied heavily on the young women and the leaders to help me get through
such a difficult loss. I feel like each
one of them have touched my life in their own way. They all have attributes that I admire. I know that they can grow by seeing me deal
with my own trials and by bearing my testimony to them about what I have gone
through.
President
Monson said this of magnifying our callings.
"What does it mean to magnify your calling? It means to build it up in dignity...to
enlarge and strengthen it to let the light of heaven shine through it to the
view of other men. And how does one
magnify a calling? Simply by performing the service that pertains to it." I saw firsthand ward members who magnified
their callings as they served our family in time of need. They went above and beyond for us.
Throughout
our family's trial with our daughter's sickness and with her passing, we were
able to be the recipients of several acts of service from friends near and
far. Many friends who reside in this
stake have done countless acts of service for us. I have one friend in particular who is a true
example to me of selfless service. She
came to my house countless times to bring gifts to my children on birthdays,
when one of my children was sick, or on a special day when I didn't always have
the time to go out and get balloons or special things for them, she would bring
the balloons and the cards and the little treats. She knew from her own
experience what it was like to have a child diagnosed with cancer and the
uncertainty and sheer terror that comes along with that. This friend came by
several times a week to visit Kera and play games with her and my 5 year old
when Kera was unable to be in school and would often times feel isolated from
being homebound as her body had lost the ability to walk, and to talk, and do
many of the things she was once able to do.
My faithful friend brought crafts for her to keep busy with. She made jewelry with her, and even helped
Kera make me this special bracelet that I wear often and which means the world
to me now. She patiently helped her string
each bead, at this point Kera was unable to speak, and she would ask her yes or
no on each bead. She knew how important
it was to Kera to make the bracelet just right, with each bead in a certain
order. This friend still reaches out to
me and sends me little cards and messages, and it always seems to be on hard
days when I am going through a particularly tough time. I know she is guided by her Heavenly Father
to do these kind acts of service, and she is a ministering angel to me and to
so many other people around her.
I cannot express enough, my
gratitude to my family and friends and relief society sisters who came to clean
my house once a week, and brought in dinners, who stopped by to visit with
bunnies to entertain Kera, or games, or whatever they could think of to bring
that may put a smile on her face that day, and teachers who came to our home to
teach Kera when she could no longer be at school. Her teachers and schoolmates
organized a easter basket donation, and her teachers came with huge baskets of
gifts and games and toys for our family.
On Easter morning we woke up to our front yard literally covered with
plastic easter eggs and toys from thoughtful neighbors who knew this would
possibly be Kera's last Easter with us. Each of these people answered the call
to serve God by serving us. I learned of the priceless value of service through
each of these kind acts. They answered
the call to serve when I didn't know how I could make it through. My own mother in law came and stayed with us
for 6 months and worked tirelessly to help us and to be there for my boys when
I had to dedicate most of my time to Kera. I have promised myself after viewing
such an outpouring of love to be more diligent in serving others. Service is about looking outside of oneself
and our own problems and seeing who may be needing our help. If we kneel in prayer and ask our Heavenly
Father who we can serve that day, He will answer us and guide us to whom we can
serve.
President
Eyring says "In the hardest trials, as long as you have the power to pray,
you can ask a loving God "Please let me serve, this day. It doesn't matter to me how few things I may
be able to do. Just let me know what I
can do. I will obey this day I know that
I can with thy help."
He says "By serving Him this
day, you will come to know Him better.
You will feel his love and appreciation.
You would not want to delay receiving that blessing. And feeling His love will draw you back to
His service, wiping away both complacency and discouragement.
The call to serve God is not always
a call to serve others, although that is very important. We serve God by worshipping Him at church, by
taking the sacrament and renewing our covenants with Him. We serve Him by keeping His commandments and
by trusting in His plan for us. We commit ourselves to do better. We repent of our sins and we commit to go
forward in faith. I have had many
friends tell me how impressed they are with my ability to go on in faith after
my daughter's passing. They say they are
amazed at my strength and my testimony.
I have to say that from the very beginning, soon after we learned of
Kera's diagnosis, after the shock wore off, I had to make a choice. I could either rely on my Heavenly Father and
completely put my trust in Him, or I could become angry and bitter. I chose to embrace God. I knew this was a huge trial and I didn't
know if I could bare it, but I learned to rely on the Lord when I didn't think
I could go on. I felt my faith in Him
increase the more I put my trust in Him.
That is how God works. When we show
that we are faithful, we are given more strength. When we bare testimony of Him, our faith is
strengthened. There were several tears
and I pleaded with the Lord to remove Kera's tumor, but if it be His will. I did not pray this way at first. I told the Lord that I would not be able to
handle it if Kera didn't make it through.
I told him he better not take her from me, or I would not be able to
continue on, but I had 10 1/2 months to learn how to pray. I learned why I needed to pray if it be His
will. I learned that God knows my daughter
very well. He knew long before she came
here to Earth. I learned to accept that
He knew best. I learned to trust in the
plan of salvation. I cherish the fact
that my husband and I were sealed together in God's Holy temple and our
children were sealed to us and we will live together for eternity. My daughter will be reunited with me and I
will get to raise her from the age she passed away. Nothing will be taken from me. I know that.
I am grateful for that knowledge and that faith. Before Kera passed away she was able to be given her
patriarchal blessing from President Bennett.
What a blessing and a comfort that is to me that has helped me to keep
my faith strong.
-President Eyring said this about
trials:
"On
many days, doing what matters most will not be easy. It is not supposed to be. God's purpose in creation was to let us prove
ourselves. The plan was explained to us
in the spirit world before we were born.
We were valiant enough there to qualify for the opportunity to choose
against temptation here to prepare for eternal life, the greatest of all the
gifts of God. We rejoiced to know the
test would be one of faithful obedience even when it would not be easy. And we will prove them herewith, to see if
they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them. Hard
as we knew the test would be, we felt joy because we had confidence that we
could pass it. Our confidence came from
knowing that Jesus Christ would come in to the world as our Savior. He would make it possible for us to be
cleansed of our sins by qualifying for the effects of His atonement. We knew that the Savior would draw us to Him
and would have the power to help us when the test would be hard and the
temptation to procrastinate great."
I
know my daughter Kera is serving a mission on the other side of the veil. Just like all parents who have to send their
child away on a mission, it is with mixed emotions. I know she is learning many important lessons
and she has so many important tasks to accomplish. Just as the Lord is hastening his work here,
he is hastening it on the other side of the veil. I think of Kera serving her mission and
although I would give anything for a phone call on mother's day, or an 18 month
release, I know that I will get to see her and be with her again for eternity.
Kera's service is inspiring me to be
a better person here. I have a lot of
work to do as well. I need to prepare my
three sons for their missions. I need to
continue to search the scriptures diligently and pray fervently for the Lord's
guidance. I need to find opportunities
to serve those around me and develop christ-like charity. I am being molded into the person that the
Lord wants me to be. The process is
often a painful one. I am being put into
the refiner's fire. It will be a long
and difficult journey. But I know that I will be successful because I have the
most beautiful and noble angel cheering for me and my family. I know that my Heavenly Father and the Savior
Jesus Christ live and they love me and are cheering me on as well. I know that each of us are given our own
trials to bare. But I know that if we
turn to God and serve Him each and every day without delay, we will return to
live with Him again. He will say well
done, thou good and faithful servant, in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.
