Back here again

I wish I didn't have to say this on my blog, and I wish more that it wasn't happening, but Kera is starting to show symptoms of the tumor again.  I have noticed her getting weaker in the past week or so, and granted she has been suffering from a bad cold for the past few weeks.  I thought her weakness was due to her cold, but Saturday night she was complaining about her left hand and arm being weak.  She got my 5 lb. weights and showed me how she could lift the weight just fine with her right arm, but she could not lift it at all with her right.  I have also been noticing her dragging her left foot a bit more when she walks too.  This new problem concerned me of course, and Sunday night I messaged our Dr. about it.  He called me back Monday morning, and he told me that it sounded like the tumor is progressing and this is the reason for her symptoms.  When we went in for her MRI a few weeks ago on the 10th, her tumor had not gotten any bigger, but there was a little spot inside the tumor that lit up on the MRI.  I didn't want it to be a big deal, and I was hoping that it wasn't, but now that she is showing symptoms it seems that the spot was active tumor cells.  It's amazing to me how quickly things change.  I was sincerely hoping that we would be great for another 3 months when we were scheduled for our next MRI and we wouldn't have to visit the doctor or anything until then.  Dave's mom, who has been staying here for the past 6 months ever since we got the diagnosis, also left to go back home this morning.  We were thinking when we booked her flight that we were good and we wouldn't really need her right now. I hope that is the case and we can get some control of these symptoms.  Kera has been a bit worried, especially after I talked to the doctor and she knew we would have to go and be seen.  She also started feeling dizzy just after she got into bed, and she came upstairs to tell me that she got dizzy and then she went to the bathroom to throw up.
I am so devastated by this new development.  I feel so grateful that she has been feeling so well these past few months. I just wanted the good times to continue for longer.  I am not ready for this again.  I know that Kera isn't either.  She told me yesterday that she will not go back on the steroids again.   I don't want her to either, but symptoms of the tumor are scary, and we may end up not having a choice.
Please pray extra hard for our little Kera.  I hope to find out some answers tomorrow morning when we go into the doctor.  They will present us with different options.  Some of them will be different forms of chemo, some will be open clinical trials that she qualifies for now that she is having tumor progression.  I want to do the very best thing for Kera, and I pray that the Lord will help me and our family to know what that will be.