Enjoy the Journey

You may have noticed the title of this blog.  That's right, "Enjoy the journey" was the title.  Pretty ironic huh?  I know, it seems a very odd title to a blog about our journey through Kera's pediatric brain tumor diagnosis, but I have learned time and time again through this process that I must remain positive about the future, and to enjoy the time we have with our children and specifically with Kera.  I am constantly trying to tell my brain not to go past today and not to focus on tomorrow.  My brain really wants to go there several times a day, but I try to tell it not to.  I have to cherish each moment we have together and to enjoy our life now.  
Dave and I went to the adult session of our stake conference on Saturday, and I feel like we were blessed because we made the decision to attend it.   Every talk was about overcoming adversity and how to draw closer to the Savior amid life's trials.  There were three relief society sisters who spoke, one talked about her husband's conversion to the church and how she waited over 20 years for him to join the church.  She talked about relying on the spirit and how blessed she felt to have a worthy priesthood holder in her home.  The next lady talked about their daughter being born with a rare brain disorder, and how she has had to overcome so many obstacles in her life.  The third sister talked about her trial of being diagnosed with breast cancer last year, and how her life has been changed since being diagnosed.  I was struck by her outlook she shared about her life now.  She said that since being diagnosed she has been given a whole new outlook on life, and how she finds such joy in each new day.  She talked about she has tried to apply the quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley, "enjoy the journey" and how she feels that each day is a blessing and how she has been given a whole new outlook on her life.  She finds joy in the small things in her life.  Our stake presidency also spoke about overcoming trials and to how to rely on the Lord when faced with difficult trials, and how we can benefit from our trials.  The choir sang the song "Consider the Lilies".  I have always liked that song, but I've never really listened to the words.  Here is a copy of the lyrics:
Consider the lilies of the field,How they grow, how they grow.Consider the birds in the sky,How they fly, how they fly.

He clothes the lilies of the field.

He feeds the birds in the sky.And He will feed those who trust Him,And guide them with His eye.

Consider the sheep of His fold,How they follow where He leads.Though the path may wind across the mountains,He knows the meadows where they feed.

He clothes the lilies of the field.He feeds the birds in the sky,And He will feed those who trust Him,And guide them with His eye.

Consider the sweet, tender childrenWho must suffer on this earth.The pains of all of them He carriedFrom the day of His birth.

He clothes the lilies of the field,He feeds the lambs in His fold,And He will heal those who trust Him,And make their hearts as gold.

The line where it talks about the sweet tender children who must suffer on this earth really got me.  I think about all that Kera has suffered physically so far, and all that she may suffer and it just breaks my heart.  But I know that the Savior carried her pain.  He suffered and felt the pain of each of us, and because of this we are able to enjoy eternal life.  I try really hard to keep my mind set in the eternal perspective.  I know this brings me such comfort, especially when it seems more than I can bare.  That is when the Lord steps in and helps me.  I am so grateful for his watchful care, and for his knowing exactly what I needed to hear that night.  

We have also began a new chapter in our school life, that of home schooling. Kera decided that she was not going to go back to school for awhile, and she was gonna give the online school program through the school district a try. I won't lie and say it's not been a challenge.  Today was a very hard day.  Trying to juggle getting Jacob ready and out the door, starting Kera on her lessons,  house chores, preparing breakfast, taking Michael to school, preparing, caring for Ryder and keeping him occupied, picking up Michael from school two hours later, running erronds, making dinner, getting Jacob going on homework, FHE, it was a LOT OF WORK!  It overwhelmed me to say the least.  I am hoping that once Kera gets the hang of her online school work and knows how to do her assignments on her own, that it will help.  We were both just trying to figure it all out today as it was our first day, and we just got her ipad last Thursday.  I am going to try to get to bed earlier and get an earlier start in the mornings, and hopefully that will help.  

And like my blog title says, even though it's difficult and a constant challenge, it's so important to stop and enjoy the journey.  We went on a family hike on Saturday.  Kera did so good!  She has been much happier and has more energy lately.  She's been much more cheerful this past week, and just tonight we were outside and the kids were playing on the tramp, and she was excited because she could do a back flip again.  That felt so good to see.  It felt good to watch her ride her bike to the park last week.  All of these memories are precious, and I want to take time to enjoy each and every one.