started chemo

Well we decided to start Kera on the oral chemo pill Temodar on Friday.  As Kera's posts have said, she started having worsening symptoms the last week of January, and the symptoms worsened to the point where we decided to put her back on the steroid.  Some of the symptoms that she has struggled with are similar to when she first started having symptoms before she was diagnosed.  She has been getting dizziness, and her left side of her body is very weak and mostly numb.  Her left arm is so weak that she can't control it much, and she has stopped doing piano for now.  It is difficult to only have one good arm.  She also has weakness in her left leg and it's difficult for her to walk as she isn't able to move the leg much.  It's been so difficult to see these symptoms return, and for the arm and leg to be unable to move.  This was not a symptom she had last time.  I really hoped we wouldn't see symptoms so quickly post radiation.  She finished treatment in September, so it was about 4 1/2 months after, that she started with these symptoms.  I am so grateful that she was feeling so wonderful for our trip to Disneyworld and for Christmas and her birthday, but I just do not want to be back here.  It is so hard to see her suffer with the symptoms and putting her back on the steroid is very difficult.  Since starting them a few weeks ago her symptoms have improved some.  Her dizziness is better and she is talking more clearly, and her walking has gotten somewhat more steady and her balance has improved, but the steroids can only do so much.  Of course the side effects are difficult as well.  She gets very mad and irritable.  Her brothers drive her nuts, and even their talking can drive her crazy.  She wants it quiet and all her senses are heightened and every sound is magnified.  Also the constant hunger is difficult to keep up with.  She has put on a few pounds and the puffy cheeks makes her more self conscious like they did before.  I know that these symptoms aren't fun, and I'm hoping she won't have to be on them for too much longer and I'm hoping more than anything that this chemo pill does something to shrink her tumor, or can stabilize it so that she isn't suffering with these symptoms.
So far Kera has tolerated the chemo pill pretty well.  The first night she took the pill she threw up in the night like she explained in her post, but each night since I have given her the Zofran before I give her the pill and she hasn't had any nausea, thank goodness!!  I have been more concerned about germs now that she is taking chemo, so I want to steer clear of places where she can pick up germs.  She is still doing school at home during the day since she is not able to walk around confidently and with the chemo it's really a risk having her there.  She was able to go to her valentine's day party at school on Friday and I came with her to help with it.
All in all Kera has been in pretty good spirits.  She gave the lesson tonight for our family home evening.  She talked about faith.  Kera has so much faith and such a strong spirit.  She said that we need to have faith in everything we do and that she has to have faith that this medicine will help her tumor.  I know that with her strong faith she will be blessed.  She read a scripture in Moroni 7:37 that says "For it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of unbelief, and all is vain."  I have felt angels ministering to our family and especially to Kera during this time of trial.  I know she is being looked after and no matter how difficult things get, she will have the Lord's help and angels will minister to her to get her through this.  I am very grateful for her strength and courage. I love my sweet girl with all of my heart and I have faith that the Lord will help her and that He knows what is best for His daughter.