Thank goodness for out of pocket maximums!

With all of the doctor appointments and procedures we've had done for Kera in the past few months, one thing I am grateful for is our max out of pocket for our insurance, and after this last MRI I'm sure we are just about there.  I can't imagine not having any insurance since seeing the bill that was sent to our insurance for the 6 week radiation treatment was about $56,000!!
Now that we've about hit our max, I'm hoping that any injuries, surgeries, or ER visits will happen before January 1st, as it will all be covered 100%.
As I said in my last post, Kera had four doctor appointments last Monday.  The first appt. was a follow up appt. with the radiation oncologist.  He was very happy to see the large amount of shrinkage of Kera's tumor.  I asked him about the possibility of re-radiation.  I felt like she had such success with the first round of radiation that it would seem logical to try to re radiate and shrink more of the tumor.  Unfortunately, the risks of re-radiating an area as precious as the brain, especially in the same area of many of the nerves and muscles that do so much to sustain life, makes it unlikely to try to re-radiate.  He said it wasn't a complete impossibility, but it would be very low on the list of things to try.  After we saw him we went to the psychologist that works in the oncology clinic, Dr. Paul.  He was very friendly and he made Kera smile and laugh a few times, so that was good.  He doesn't think that the problems Kera is having with the nausea and things are all psychological. We discussed it being a possibility with our oncology dr. at our last visit. Dr. Paul thinks that she is really experiencing physical symptoms, and doesn't seem to exhibit a whole lot of psychological trauma or red flags.  I also tend to agree with him.  I know that she does experience some triggers and smells that she associates to radiation treatments, but I also think she is suffering physically.  When we saw the homeopathic doctor, it sort of confirmed what I suspected, which was that she was suffering from constipation, along with the nausea.  She showed me some massage techniques that I can do on her stomach to help with nausea.  She recommended sea bands, the bracelets that you wear on your wrists, ginger pills or tea, carnitine (which is a supplement that helps restore the body and the immune system) and a probiotic.  She also made a little diffuser with a grapefruit scent that she can smell whenever she is somewhere and smells something unpleasant. Back to the constipation, I knew that it had been awhile since she had pooped, not since the previous Thursday in fact, and so I also started giving her some miralax consistently.  I had been giving it to her for the past few months because when I saw the urologist for her frequent UTI's, she suggested that Kera was having a lot of constipation and that could be contributing to her UTI's.  So I was giving it to her, but not consistently, especially after all this other stuff that we've been dealing with.  Since the dr appt. Monday, I tried several things to get her to have a bowel movement.  I gave her miralax Tuesday and Wednesday morning, and still no poop.  Then Thursday I started to get more aggressive.  I gave her a suppository, and nothing happened.  Then I tried an enema, and finally the next morning (even though on the box it said within 1-5 minutes) she pooped! I know she would just love me sharing all of the details, but it was really worrying me, especially since it had been over a week, and the last weeks b.m. wasn't even soft.  After the enema she has pooped each day with the miralax, thank goodness!  She is still not wanting to eat much, and still having some nausea, but I'm hoping to see an improvement with that soon.  Another reason she could be suffering from nausea is that when we went to our last dr. appt., the opthalmologist, we found out that Kera is suffering from double vision, and that both eyes, not just the right eye, is suffering from esotropia, or the eye wandering.  He told us that he recommends she have eye surgery to fix both eyes, and that it has an 80% success rate.  I was very excited that there was something we could do for her to fix her eyes.  We scheduled her surgery for this Thursday the 24th.  I am still waiting to hear back from Dr. Bruggers our oncologist to get her go ahead, but if all is good we will do the surgery.  And as I mentioned before, we are just about at max out of pocket, so it will be covered!!
So now that I've given all of the details of doctor visits, I want to say that life is still a challenge every day, but I continue to feel uplifted when I read my scriptures, ponder on the words of the Lord, and take time to let the spirit speak to my soul.
Today I was reading a conference talk by Robert D. Hales, one of our church's twelve apostles.  It is titled "Waiting Upon the Lord, Thy Will Be Done".  Here is a link to the talk for anyone who may want to read it. I love it and I think everyone could benefit from reading it.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/waiting-upon-the-lord-thy-will-be-done?lang=eng

He explains what it means to wait upon the Lord.  Waiting upon the Lord means to “stand fast” and “press forward” in faith, “having a perfect brightness of hope.”

It means “relying alone upon the merits of Christ” and “with His grace assisting us, saying: Thy will be done, O Lord, and not ours"  He says, as we wait upon the Lord we are immovable in keeping the commandments, knowing that one day we will rest from our afflictions."  One day I will find rest and eternal joy and it will make all of my trials and afflictions that I face every day worth it.

  He also says," Every one of us is more beloved to the Lord than we can possibly understand or imagine. Let us therefore be kinder to one another and kinder toward ourselves. Let us remember that as we wait upon the Lord, we are becoming “saint[s] through [His] atonement, … submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father."  I sure need a lot of help with all of these things, and I am being shaped and refined for a great work.  It definitely tests me and makes me feel like I am going to fall apart on an almost daily basis, but I know that the Lord is aware of me and what our family is going through.  He knows what I can handle.  He sees the whole picture and we can only see this tiny moment, a small moment compared to eternity.  Unfortunately this life is all we know, and it takes a lot of faith to trust Him sometimes and to leave it in his hands, and to say Thy will be done.  But that is what I must do.