Today marks 6 months since Kera's passing, and I thought this would be a perfect time to update my blog. Dave sent me a text yesterday saying the mortuary called and they are putting Kera's headstone in tomorrow. I was surprised to hear the good news since I hadn't heard anything for a few weeks and we still weren't sure if they would get it in before the ground froze. It also made my heart happy when I realized that her headstone would be put in on her 6 month anniversary. I know this wasn't a coincidence. I know Kera had a hand in it. The day has been full of memories of Kera. I went over this morning to remove some of her things from her grave to clear it out, and the truck with her headstone pulled up right as I finished loading the items in my van. I was able to see them unload it off the truck and everything. I left before it was all set up, and I took the boys over later to see it. It is absolutely beautiful. I love everything about it. I felt such a reverence when I went there. I was experiencing mixed emotions, since having a headstone makes everything so real. It is a permanent fixture. This has really happened. But I am also relieved to have it here and for me to have a bench to sit on when I visit her, and I know she loves it.
I think she was just so excited for it to be here and for me to see it. Everything went smoothly. I came home and posted on her fb page, and put some pictures of her up off my phone. I had a friend come over today to help me go through some of her old t-shirts because she offered to make me a quilt with them. It will be a special comfy blanket that I can curl up with and be reminded of her. Dave went stopped on his way home from work to see the headstone too. When he got home we spent some time tonight talking about Kera and reading scriptures together. All of these things added to the spirit in our home. I love days like this when she is very near. I also had a thoughtful neighbor bring a sweet ornament with a butterfly and an inscription on it. She had written a touching letter to our family that I read out loud. Of course I cried and was emotional, but I know that also is helpful. We watched some home movies of Christmas and Disney world last year. It was sad at first, but the more we watched, the more I didn't want to turn off the video. I loved hearing her voice and seeing her face again.
I cannot believe that it has been 6 months already since I held her in my arms. In some ways the time has flown by, and in other ways it feels as if life has moved in slow motion.
Thanksgiving will be here in two days, and then Christmas will be here before I know it. I am really not looking forward to Christmas this year. Even hearing Christmas music makes me teary eyed. I loved our magical Christmas last year, and this one will feel empty. I know that Kera would want me to be excited for Christmas and the celebration of the Savior. A friend shared this poem with me on Kera's FB page, and I want to share it here. It is so touching and good to keep in mind during this holiday season.
"My Christmas in Heaven".
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,
With tiny lights like Heaven’s stars, reflecting in the snow.
The sight is so spectacular; please wipe away the tears,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
With tiny lights like Heaven’s stars, reflecting in the snow.
The sight is so spectacular; please wipe away the tears,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart,
But I am not so far away… we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me, loved ones, you know I hold you dear,
I’m glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
But I am not so far away… we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me, loved ones, you know I hold you dear,
I’m glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above,
I send you each a memory of my forever love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold,
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
I send you each a memory of my forever love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold,
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as Heavenly Father said to do,
For I can’t count the blessings or the love He has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away your tears,
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
For I can’t count the blessings or the love He has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away your tears,
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
~I love you with all my heart Kera
Love,
Mom
